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It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
Iโm too young to be too old for everything.
Women say they love nerds until you whip out your Pokemon cards.
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
Itโs funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
The problem with the world is intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence.
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if Iโd like whipped cream on it.
How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
It`s not my official job but basically all I do is piss people off.
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"
For our next trick, we should hack into North Korea`s TV system and put Jersey Shore on repeat...