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What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figure he`ll just have to mow around me. I`m not moving.
Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
At this point I`m guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
I don`t know what is longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
Wouldn`t it be great to revive the old "Mutual Of Omaha`s Wild Kingdom" show, but with a new setting? Like a WalMart Store in Kentucky?
Just a reminder that your coworkers aren`t going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it.
I’m an organ donor, but I’m pretty sure all they’re going to use is my liver for “after” photos.
What doesn`t kill you, makes you stronger... except for lions, lions will definitely kill you.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
How dumb is that family if Mrs. Doubtfire can fool them a second time?
I need to put someone on my weekend to-do list