Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If sex is said to be the best exercise, than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there`s idea. . .
It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realise that there is always a way to solve problems without violence
I`m surprised more killers haven`t lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
Highschool Reunion? What for ? I`m on Facebook. I already know who got fat.
If you`re not procrastinating just a little, you`re not doing Saturday right.
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
PMS = Prepare to Meet Satan.
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
Afraid my muffin top is desiring to become a pound cake.
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.
You know you`ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.
I`m getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I`ve been to in the last week that`s had "insufficient funds".