Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes when i`m following a recipe and it says to bake at 350 degrees, I will turn it up to 355 just to be a rebel.
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
I`d be amazing at life if I was only asked to sit and play on the computer all day.
My mom always said that I`d never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her...
Another World`s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
Broke up with my girlfriend. She was into the horoscope stuff and we weren`t compatible. I`m a libra and shes a...b!tch
I’m drinking because you’re talking.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
I did a push-up today. Well, actually I fell down, but had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Now I need a beer.
Why are you walking away when we`re in the middle of discussing our wedding plans? Come back! ... At least give me your number!
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It’s the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets.
drinks well with others.
Why do people freak out about dolphins getting caugh in tuna nets? What about the tuna?