Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
It’s proving very difficult to find a shop selling “Left Guard” for my other armpit…
Happy Wednesday 2014 Everyone!
I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in nice neighborhoods, then sit back to watch the magic unfold.
I`m at my neighbor`s house having a delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home.
This status is mine....I licked it.
Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.
No pants are the best pants.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
The next time the creepy guy at the bar asks you "Why aren`t you smiling?" simply reply, "I don`t smile while I fart."
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
Lightning is like God`s way of saying "Get out of that tree you pervert!"
Does swimming in debt count as cardio?
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.