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Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
I laid awake all night again worrying about why Iām always so tired.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
Fingerprints are proof that God doesn`t trust us
I just threw a piece of food on the floor of my cubicle. Totally forgot my dog doesn`t work here.
I`m no auto mechanic but I`m pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.