Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
That moment when you put your pants on, take a few steps, and feel something crawling down your leg! You grab it on the outside so it doesn`t crawl any further....and then you sigh in relief and thank God the dryer sheet doesn`t bite!
Didn`t sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done.
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
If listening to stupid people burned calories, I`d be a supermodel.
Adding “and sh!t” to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
75% of my current net worth is in gift cards.
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
I do love you for your mind, I just like your mind a lot more when you’re naked.
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
Send me one more game request and I`m showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister