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Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
I’m having some vision trouble today. I can’t see myself doing anything.
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
All I`m saying is you don`t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
Does this 50 pound bag of cat food make me look single?
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
I try not to limit my madness to March.
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because she says I was obsessed with football. I was shocked. I mean we were together for 3 1/2 seasons.