Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
You know you are old when your birthday suit doesn`t fit anymore.
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
I don`t care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
If you touch your phone in the right places, a pizza will arrive at your door.
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
I don`t take steroids because I never want to look like I`m capable of helping my friends move.
Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?