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Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Insert coin to view my status message.
happy 3rd birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge
I changed the audio of my GPS to a man`s voice. Now it just says "It`s around here somewhere. Keep driving for a little while."
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
I need a Shazam app for people I`m supposed to recognize but can`t remember
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
Hey guy in the car behind me... Honking your horn isn`t going to help me type any faster.
When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
In retrospect, I suppose "harder" wasn`t the best choice of a safe word.
I`m starting a pay it backward campaign. When I get up to the drive through window I tell them that the car behind me is going to pay for it.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!