Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The cashier at the dollar store told me to have a good day. Like my purchase of shelf liner suggested any other plan.
The realization you`ve spoken too loudly when you exclaimed: " My Salad had NUTS!"
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
I`m really tired but it`s OK. There`s a nap for that.
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
I`m jealous of my parents, I`ll never have kids as cool as theirs.
Only a fool trips on what`s behind him.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a dictionary, and now I`m impecunious.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.