Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honestly, I have no idea what the f*ck I`ll do with 5 hours of energy.
I just made you think of an elephant
When a woman says "what?" its not because she didn`t hear you. She`s giving you a chance to change what you just said.
I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.
I always get a nice safe feeling whenever I see a police car and I realize I`m not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" - 17th century sext
If you`re a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
One day I`ll look up from my phone and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.