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If gas prices keep going up I`m cutting off the bottom of my car and I`m "Flintstoning" That mf!
I’ve never been in love but I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
I`m outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
Use a mirror and you will find, PI.E = 3.14
There`s nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it`s only lettuce :(
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.
If booze isn`t the answer, then your question sucks.
Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.