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I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
See, this is why I never like too wake up, it means doing things.
Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to get in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
North Korea no!, really, go home! now you are really drunk!
Stalin should have known communism doesn`t work. There were red flags everywhere.
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep.
This one time, I got trapped inside a couch cushion fort for like 47 days cause I forgot to put a secret door on it.
I know the light has changed twice people but I`m playing air drums until Moby Dick is over...sit back and enjoy the show please...
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?
You know that old saying? If you seen one woman naked. You want to see all women naked.