Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don`t run into anyone you know.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
Iām glad MTV has shows like Teen Mom 3 so girls have good role models besides Miley.
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
If she owns more than 4 pairs of yoga pants, expect A LOT of text messages
Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?
Coffee gives me the illusion I`m actually awake
You`re about as deep as a kiddies splash-pool..
I wish that life had an option for viewing other available episodes.
I had your cake and ate it too.
These statuses are a lot better if you imagine them being read by Morgan Freeman.
I just need someone to feed me and tell me Iām pretty.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.