Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish my kids came with a handbook.... Hardcover, preferably. So I have something to hit them with.
Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw.
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. I’m always trying to pull a fast one
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.
I’ve taken off my pants in most malls that I’ve been to.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.
When in doubt, read Facebook Statuses, you`ll see you`re not the only crazy one around