Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love how stars are billions of miles apart and we`re like "that`s a soup ladle".
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Boy it`s nice out today... or at least that`s what it says on my computer.
The problem with some people is that they`re breathing.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?
I`m not lazy. I`m just highly motivated to not do anything.
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either.
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
Dude, I see you are enjoying a cold Bud Light Lime-a-Rita .... I`m going to assume that`s your smart car parked outside.
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
People who sit and talk while their pizza is gets cold gives me anxiety.