Daily Silly Status

A recent survey revealed that 4 out of 5 women think I`m an a-hole...

Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.

Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please

I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.

Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.

Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.

Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ? LOL JK, I have to pee.

First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.

I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.

Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there’s a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.

There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”

I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!

I`m so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.

If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.

If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way I told you to.