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Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...
I used to have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lived 150 miles away
I am not bossy, I just know how to do things the right way.
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.
Went to my friends house with my girlfriend today. As we walked in I noticed her phone automatically connected to his wifi. That f*cking slut.
I am so thankful and grateful that out of all the planets in the universe, we live on one with pizza and vodka.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want. If my wife says it`s okay.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
Ya .... That Supermoon was OK ..... But I was quite disappointed when I realized it didn`t even have a cape.
By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
You`re right, vodka. This is the perfect time to use a hammer.
maturity comes when you stop publishing every detail of your life on social media