Daily Silly Status

I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.

"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink

It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.

The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.

I’m offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.

So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?

It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.

I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.

Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone

I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?

I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.

I need a six month vacation Twice a year.

My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...

SAFETY TIP: Lock your doors and windows before bed. By the way, I love what you`ve done with the place.

Alcohol – The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance “medicine.”