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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
Wine: How classy people get trashed.
Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I`m hiring her as my personal trainer.
To be Frank, I`ll have to change my name.
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
Think about what last call would look like if Walmart had a bar
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
Sometimes there just aren’t enough curse words.
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
I`m glad that we as humans settled on the hand shake as a greeting instead of the whole ass sniffing thing.
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
I`m ok with women faking it in bed. I faked everything to get her there.
I don`t use cocaine, I just like the way it smells.