Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today.......i felt like that bitch was seeing someone else.
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
Hiding from people at parties is my cardio.
Is there another word for synonym?
Those Box Tops that raise money for schools really should be on wine labels and cases of beer.
It doesn´t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it.
Please, if I ever offend you, it’s because I meant to.
Some people think I say inappropriate things...I perfer to think of it as being f*cking honest.
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
I`ve been single for a while and I have to say, it`s going very well. Like... It`s working out. I think I`m the one.