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Do you think they still give out chips in Gambler`s Anonymous?
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
Life should be more like hockey. When someone pisses you off, you just beat the sh!t out of them then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
Babysitters are just teenagers who behave like adults so that adults can go out and behave like teenagers.
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. A broken heart makes you wiser. And alcohol makes you not remember any of that sh!t.
Why procrastinate today when you can procrastinate tomorrow?
Does this couch Iām laying on make me look unmotivated?
Sometimes after many years of marriage, you just look at your wife and wonder how she stayed with you this long without you killing her.
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?