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What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant
is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re probably really hot.
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
A shark will only attack you if you’re wet.
Win every argument simply by repeating your opponent`s last sentence in a whiny voice.
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
You know the best side effect of losing weight? Supersonic hearing. I can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper or bag of chips through walls.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.