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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Geez. I make one little mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
Saw my Ex with some guy at a bar last night... so I ordered a beer, took a few sips then gave her date the rest of my drink... Walked away.
"i wasn`t that drunk"..Dude!you tied me to a chair and bitch-slapped me,yelling "where`s Harry Potter!!"
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
I Wonder what Facebook Employees do to waste time at work ?
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee`s you`re buying it off of sure can.
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.