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I want a doorbell that makes the sound of someone knocking on the door.
Fun thing to do: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on peoples cars saying "sorry for the damage" and watch them look for it
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I`m alright, but I feel like, well, like I`ve dyed a little inside.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
Thank you Pringles for being the only chip company that doesn`t sell air.
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, & a Facebook… When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.
I hear voices ... and they don`t like you.
I`m not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?
Walmartians: Nothing says `FML` like these curious abominations of the shopping world.
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
I`ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.
*Goes to the gym. Takes a selfie in front of the weights. Leaves.