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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
I’m classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
Swag is for boys. Class is for men.
Forrest Gump forever changed the way I pronounce buttocks.
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
Whenever I`m out somewhere there is a 99% chance I am thinking about going home and sleeping.
I am not looking for a one night stand, 2 hours will be plenty enough.
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
If I`m carrying a torch for you it`s only because I want to set you on fire.
And Jesus said, those footprints on the beach where two sets become one, that`s where I unfollowed you.
Just ate a sleeve of crackers on my wife`s side of the bed.. I`ll let you know...