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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What`ve you got?
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
Whenever there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
I hate it when you`re buying stuff off the Internet and the bank calls to check to see if your card has been stolen. Sure, it seems nice, but then you have to explain to lady on the phone that no, it was not stolen, you really are the one who bought a subscription to bustyblondes.com
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
Lord, help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.
When I think of all the money I`ve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt’s.