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If you`ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you`ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos!
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
"I`m not drunk" - Biggest Friday Night Lie.
I look so young for my rage.
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
Every conversation should come with a snooze button. That way if you`re being too boring, I can push a button and keep you from talking for the next 10 minutes.
My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a nap.
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.
My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it`s my fault.
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
Get Dora and Boots on this missing plane case now, Dora solves the case everytime