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I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese`s pieces
My internet went down for about 5 minutes earlier....so I talked to my family.....they seem like nice people!
Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101. Today`s class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you`re here now, you failed.
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
This hangover feels like... I should take a shot.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
Some days should come with a warning label: This day is going to suck, bring alcohol.
The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
people say nobody`s perfect..i made nobody!..
Sometimes in the morning while drinking my coffee, I think about all the people I will be pissing off.
These ‘energy saving` light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.