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I always get hammered before I go jogging, that way I never go jogging.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their nose?
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
People are like dogs: There`s always someone who loves you for you and there`s someone who just peed in an inappropriate place.
If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...
Whenever I feel that someone is about to sneeze I yell “PIKA!” & they’re like “CHU!”. I don’t have any friends.
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.