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My hair only looks good on days when no one important sees it.
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
Once I made a belt out of watches. It was a waist of time.
My life is a result of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."
Gotta thin the herd. – me eating animal crackers
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.
I love the smell of a liquor store in the morning!
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.
There damn well better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober!