Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m gonna open a bar and name it Rehab.....
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask stupid questions.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I`m going to need a quick answer for this....
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
So who the heck ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
I will be thoroughly disappointed if the first human born on Mars isn’t named Marvin.
My girlfriend wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn`t have sex.
awesome collection!
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.