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I don`t need glasses ... I drink straight from the bottle.
Today I will kick a$$, and make dreams happen...but first, Coffee.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
If “too drunk to stand” is a yoga pose, then I’m nailing that one.
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I`m going to need a quick answer for this....
I`m sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don`t really get the metric system. How much exactly is "in moderation"?
Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
Is the "D" in Donkey Kong a typo? It should have been Monkey Kong right? These are the things that keep me up at night.
Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that
Hey Lady!, I just deposited $43 dollars in THIS bank.. DON`T FROWN AT ME WHEN I TAKE 3 SUCKERS!
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.