Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
I`m for driverless cars, but honestly, having to drive is the only thing standing in the way of me being a complete drunk piece of sh!t 24/7
I`m so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
I make self-sabotage look like an art form.
I hate to be one of those who post cliffhangers but...
My grocery cart right now says ” I’m getting drunk and doing laundry tonight!” And also. “I like fruit.”
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.