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BEER! The official sponsor of hot days!
I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
I will always be here for you. Unless we run out of beer and someone has some over there. Then I will be over there for you.
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
Is it "poon tang", or "poontang"? I`m trying to update my Christian Mingle profile.
The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.
The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.
What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.
There damn well better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober!