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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
Thank goodness I`m loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can`t blame it on the alcohol.
There are over 10 different flavors of Ramen Noodles, yet they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
I have never preheated an oven but I have pre-eaten a frozen pizza.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon ....I think I`m gonna be pretty good at it.
So, you`re telling me that the Grammys aren`t cute little bags of cocaine?
Full disclosure: All my statuses with less than 3 likes were made by my intern.
I don`t own a thesaurus, is `cock meat` a synonym for `fried chicken`?