Daily Silly Status

“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.

I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast

Only 2 phrases can change a woman’s mood: ”I Love You” and ”50% Off”.

Give a fish something for once for f*cks sake

Today is National I Don`t Feel Like Doing Sh!t Day. Celebrate accordingly.

The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.

I’m so broke this New Years Im gonna party like its $19.99.

This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?

The toughest decision I will make today is bottle or draft.

Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.

I noticed you’re not yourself today. I really like it.

Life is to short ... to waste time matching socks.

Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it`s none of my damn business.

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk ;)

You can`t run from your problems. unless your fat.