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Why would I ever pay to go to a NASCAR event when I could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free?
I go to McDonald`s once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car
If I’ve offended you, please accept my apology. Then smack yourself in the face for getting offended by something on the Internet.
If I was rich, I`d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch
I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
I dont think McDonald`s french fries are real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect ... Tasted fine, too.
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
This Pokemon Go crap is getting ridiculous. I just saw a fight breakout between the pokebloods and the pokecrips.
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
A week is just five days of wishing you had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing you had something to do
Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: "The fat one won`t fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"
i dont have drain bramage.