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I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
There are a few people I`d like to go to bed with but I can`t think of a single person I`d like to wake up with.
They don`t seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts.
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people.
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I`m heading north to start a new life.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
Somewhere, right now.. One of my Facebook friends is already drunk!
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.
I prefer a slowie not a quickie.
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?