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Do you think that the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "if you build it they will come"?
I was pretty sure that at this point in my career I would have henchmen by now!
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
If a bra is called an `Over the shoulder bolder holder,` then would you call men`s underwear `Under the butt nut hut?`
I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Life is like a box of chocolates. They never last as long for fat people.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
I guess today has been pretty good. I haven`t had to slap one single person yet....
Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
Why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.
You can lead a horse to water but I`d rather ride it to the liquor store.
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P