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A lot of you lose your sh!t and have some pretty epic, public meltdowns. I just wanted to say thanks.
Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It`s not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color
Do you ever notice that when you´re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Life Tip: Tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry, they will clean it for free!
I gotta go guys. I just found out my lunch break isn`t 3 hours long.
Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
Diet Tip #63 : Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
Over half the contacts in my phone are named “Do Not Answer”
Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
My wife is driving me to drink. I hope she remembers to pick me up when I’m done.
I`m old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy.
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.