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Ladys, if you`re in an argument with a guy and there`s no may to win. Start playing with your boobs...works every time.
Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
Porn is so unrealistic. There`s no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice.
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
If the NSA and IRS teamed up, I wouldn’t have to do my taxes.
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
Sorry I kept stopping erratically. I was pumping SCREW YOU in Morse Code with my brake lights.
Do you ever wonder how many people’s dreams you have been in?
I recently added squats to my daily workout routine and I did so by moving my beer to the bottom shelf in my refrigerator.
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.
I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren`t happy.
I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch on fire.
Why do pickup truck commercials think it`s very important that I`m able to tow a plane?
To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.