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Probably the most exciting feature on the new Iphone is the way it upgrades simple phone theft into full on finger removal.
When you consider names for your baby, it`s important to try out the middle name in an angry voice.
Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know it`s a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO!
Patience Is When Playing TETRIS And U Let Those Bricks Fall On Their Own Without Speeding Them Down
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
My kids are giving all the people on this airplane a hard lesson in birth control right now.
Note to self: Asking the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your Facebook status in no way helps you get out of a DUI.
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
The moment when someone says a word and everyone laughs, including you and then someone goes, "Do you know what that means?" and you go "No, not really."
I`m so lonely that my cat owns a cat.
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She`s 97 today and we don`t know where the hell she is.