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The most annoying are those people in great shape at the gym…. I’m like, “What are you doing here? You’re done.”
“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
The older I get the more I understand Squidward`s anger.
If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
You can`t make me believe there`s a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.
Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
I`m thinking about starting a vegetarian dance club... I`m going to call it "lettuce turnip the beets". What do you think?
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.