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I`m pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Facebook status, all my friends would delete me.
I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
Sometimes I wish I wasn`t rich and handsome and delusional.
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
I’d be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
How funny is it when you’re telling somebody a made-up story and someone says “Oh yeah I heard about that”?
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
Take me seriously at your own risk.
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?