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FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
Tequila... cuz the bed isn`t goin to spin itself!
I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
Geez....Why do they only make hand creams that smell feminine? Why can`t they they make one with a masculine scent? Something like Doritos or WD-40?
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
If you`ve never baked pot brownies in an Easy Bake Oven... then you`ve never wrote an apology letter to your sister with an Etch A Sketch.
Every family has a plastic bag full of plastic bags.
Dude, I see you are enjoying a cold Bud Light Lime-a-Rita .... I`m going to assume that`s your smart car parked outside.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!
According to the customer service, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.