Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
I might enjoy work more if at the end of the day I could slide down the back of a brontosaurus directly into my car.
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
Met a girl for a first date and quickly found out that her version of "Do you want to go downtown?" is vastly different than mine.
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn`t believe me.
We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
If your significant other is mad at you, put a cape on them and say "Now you`re super mad!" If they laugh marry them.
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn`t think so.
Sorry I mispronounced your baby`s name you made up.
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
I`m perfect you adjust.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!
I like to skip when I`m carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.
Netflix basically has every movie, except for the ones I actually want to watch.