Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don`t eat anything else today and tomorrow.
What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.
If I wasn`t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn`t have made it taste so good with orange juice.
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
This status is mine....I licked it.
Like this if you’re “never drinking again.”
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
When you`re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
I can understand your anger at me, but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on?
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge.
Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
I`m off and running like a wounded herd of turtles on valium