Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Corduroy boxing gloves deliver the best punchlines.
Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
Mom: How are your grades this semester? Me:.... Mom:.... Me: Mother what`s important is that we have our health
I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.
A young man gets sent to jail,and gets put into a jail cell with a convict the size of the Incredible Hulk. After lights out, he hears a whisper from the top bunk."Let`s play Mommy and Daddy. Who do you wanna be?" Thinking quick, the man says "daddy." "Then come up here and suck Mommy`s d!ck."
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
I can’t believe that all these “single ladies in my area” want to meet me, must be due to all the “free Ipads” I’ve been winning.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2.
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?
My ex-wifes facebook status said "I`m depressed and on the edge"... So I poked her!
You can tell a lot about a woman by how she slices brownies. For example: if she throws the knife at you, you should pick up some Midol.
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....