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I`ve never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...
When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I`m sure you already know, have a great time!
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
My wife has spent all day arguing that she isn`t stubborn...
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
People who don`t understand sarcasm are awesome.
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?
Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.
The real reason I’m not a superhero…. Pockets, I need my pockets.
I need to put someone on my weekend to-do list