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I can´t wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there`s nothing I can do about it.
I’m eating just in case I get hungry later
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.
My girlfriend went to the dentist for a cavity. It`s odd since she spends so much time in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush.
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.