Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archaeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
pudding... thats always a funny word
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
Unless you fell off the stairmaster and a barbell fell on your face... no one wants to hear about your workout.
I should be asleep, but there are a lot of things I should be.
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
Some people are like Polaroids. You have to shake them violently before they make any sense.
What idiot called it the toaster and not the tanning bread?
Nothing says "I`ve already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.