Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who’s ever used a cell phone will die
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
Next time you are sad remember you can make a cheeseburger with donuts as the bun. Still sad? Add Sprinkles
That son of a b*tch moment when you`re walking around the house with socks on and step on a random wet spot.
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
As a child, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Who`s this "moderation" people keep telling me to drink with?
If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is the church parking lot empty and Wal Marts is full?
When I`m on my deathbed, I`m definitely going to ask if I can be moved to a different bed.
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, I’d like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?