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When I was a kid they didn`t call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".
I made a chicken salad today... The little bastard didn`t even eat it.
Dad: Son its a fact that masturbation can lead to blindness. Me: Dad... Im over here ..
why are the foods you want eat late at night in loud crackling wrappers?
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders
I don`t remember anything that happened, but I may have had a drink or two...
Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
I`m a responsible person. People are always saying "I know you`re responsible for this."
The best way to change a woman`s mind is to agree with her.
Currently helping my sister look for her chocolate`s I ate 4hrs ago.
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
Maybe don`t show me a picture if you don`t want me to rate your baby.
Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?