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It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
I was looking all over for my ambition today......well, It wasn`t under this 12 pack, so I`ll look tomorrow.
Even when I’m home alone, I still answer Jeopardy questions out loud.
Sometimes I let the words in my mind come out of my mouth. And it feels awesome! B)
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
If we`re all expected to have sex with our Valentine on Valentine`s Day, I`m truly dreading Presidents` Day.
My last relationship was almost as complicated as the knot my pocket created with my headphones.
That moment of shame when an automatic door doesn`t open for you
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!