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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
Most problems can be solved with nudity
Sometimes I feel bad about the things I say and do, but today is not one of those days.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
Winter is filled with men trying to figure out the least feminine way to apply chapstick.
What do women say when they are actually fine?
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
Opinions are like a$$holes: some people make money by posting them on the internet.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."