Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Most of being an adult is marveling at the date and saying how fast the year is going by.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen
Boobs, because you can`t motorboat a personality.
I was told that I had an alcohol problem, but I think me and Captain Morgan have it figured out..
Stalin should have known communism doesn`t work. There were red flags everywhere.
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.
The sooner one of you ladies takes ‘one for the team’ and becomes my girlfriend, they sooner I leave the REST of you alone!
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.